The idea for the Blue Glass Journal started one day after juggling a journal, a food journal, and a planner. This bundle of books spurred me to try to find one that fit all of my needs. I explored many varieties and styles, getting more and more frustrated. I found myself giving up journalling/planning, the last straw was being annoyed at the latest $108 (after shipping and exchange) journal that didn’t leave me room for writing, but instead had check marks on things to do to live my best life.
- Look at the pretty flowers, see beauty all around
- Do something nice for someone
- Take a bubble bath
- Don’t be an asshole
Check, check, check.
So I decided to get to work to see what other women thought. What followed was one of the most educational experiences of my life. I interviewed friends but felt I should talk to people I didn’t know for clarity. I got fortunate, I had a great response from the women of the B-School collective.
Being stuck and not moving forward was the common theme. When we got to this point in the conversation, voices changed, there were long pauses in our conversation. The result of being so stuck was fear. Crippling fear. I dug a little deeper to learn what that fear does to our emotions, our bodies, our relationships. There are few areas of our life that don’t get affected when we are afraid that we are not living our ‘purpose’. My god. I travelled across the ocean and woke at 5 am to meditate with Buddhist nuns to try to figure out my purpose. Many years later I really heard what was said to me at Plum Villiage. There is no fucking seeking our purpose. Truth, a nun said that to me. Okay, her expression that said she was so sick of white women coming to the monastery to seek clarity to find their ‘purpose’ said it to me, she simply repeated Thay’s teaching of the Buddha to not seek without, it is within. It is in us. We are born with it.
The common threads were simply:
- Lack of gratitude
- Lack of money awareness
- Lack of movement (specifically in our hips)
- Lack of paying attention to important aspects of our life
The importance of living life and accomplishing what we want to accomplish needed to be incorporated in the journal. Every new year, I make a vision board, a list, goals and I get excited. By February, I lose my journal, lose steam, lose desire, the list is endless. Sometimes September will renew that excitement with that little new year boost, but never enough to find the planner. The overwhelm stops me in my tracks.
I turned to some experts to seek out how chakras, tight hip flexors, blocked energy or chi, money worries, the biology (it is) and psychology of not having gratitude, keep us locked in 1990 for fifteen years. Everything in the journal, I did myself. When I was at the lowest point of my life, these tools got me out of bed, that is proof enough for me that this works. Then, I got some unexpected inspiration and had to change the entire plan! My biggest challenge is making lasting change and getting things done. I have a list of things to do, and I just don’t know where to start so I leave it for tomorrow, or if it is food related…Monday. A brilliant woman named Beth did some coaching with me, and she would send me new moon prompts. So I incorporated the prompts and gave myself to the full moon to get things done. The moon is constant. There is no putting off its cycle. Then, Christina came along and suggested I incorporate the energy of each sun sign during the period. Not knowing much about astrology I struggled with the authenticity of it because I am not an expert, but I learned for the journal I didn’t need to be an expert, just have enough understanding to explore with the idea. Throughout the year, the experts that helped me learn and understand how to get unstuck will contribute articles, or FB live sessions to share their wisdom.
The disappointment for me came from my lack of publishing experience, the integrity of accessibility was lost in the development, and the font is so small. My sincerest apologies for that.
I designed the journal so that it is your space. Your life. Your tool. But I also wanted it to read like you were sitting with a friend. I hope that you feel it. I also hope that if you decide to use the journal (or not) that you join the community and find support, humour, and joy for daily living.
Because we are real women, who have tough days. It comes with beautiful ‘fuck it’ stickers.
From my heart to yours, my greatest desire is that you feel connected to your beautiful, messy, complicated, and purposeful life.
By simply giving a few minutes a day:
- Giving gratitude
- Having money awareness
- Journalling what you need
- Using the moon cycle to accomplish goals or plans
I also included some essential ideas that I learned along the way and through my life coaching accreditation to help move forward. None of which include taking a bath.